This is the Season of Self-Exploration: Change Your Self-Concept and Find Happiness From Within.

Lately, I've been enjoying my time spent alone, and I am taking control of my life rather than allowing myself to be controlled by external influences. Wait, let me elaborate! I don't mean that I have been a door mat -- now that's not happening. I'm just learning to allow myself to find the things that I need from within. When you depend on external factors to make you happy, you will always be controlled by what is outside of you.

Changing your self-concept

My son said something the other day that resonated with me. He was only saying it to get out of trouble, but it made sense. He said, "Anything that you do over and over again is insanity." He was right! If I keep getting the same results over and over again, at some point in time, I have to realize that I am the problem. I began to do some self-introspection. One day, as I was strolling on YouTube, I found a video on this YouTube channel called Manifest It, Finesse It. It was called, ULTIMATE SELF-CONCEPT AFFIRMATION RAMPAGE

 https://youtu.be/93W3MLoI1wE?si=T89ab7fPtBupSePP 

Now, what is self-concept? Self-concept is the image we have of ourselves. And from what I'm learning, it is influenced by many factors, including our interaction with the important people in our lives, childhood trauma, your past and your present. It is how we perceive our behaviors, abilities, and unique characteristics. For example, beliefs such as "I am a failure" or "I can get any man I want" are part of your self-concept. Well, it turns out, we have more control over the outcome in our lives than we think - as long as it is within God's will. How we feel on the inside is ultimately what we attract for ourselves. Honestly, we manifest negative things all the time, so why not manifest the things that we desire. It even states in the Bible what we can do with our faith:

Jeremiah 29:11 states ‘For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.

Matthew 17:20 - And He *said to them, “Because of the littleness of your faith; for truly I say to you, if you have faith the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move; and nothing will be impossible to you.

God gave us the power, through him, to move mountains. What we do with our faith is important. Every morning, I give thanks to the Most High for allowing me to be here and for allowing me to have the things that I desire in my life. Why would he put those desires in your heart if he didn't want you to have them? Additionally, how can I have them, if I don't believe I can or I don't believe I am equipped to do so?

Moving on. I realized that my self-concept not only controls what happens in my life, but it is also responsible for the not so happy endings. For example, this guy I dated a while ago - our relationship began so beautifully - but ended in disaster. I became the bitter woman on social media who coped through male bashing and blaming everyone else but my trash self-concept. What I failed to recognize is that the way I feel about myself, which at the time was unlovable, I couldn't allow anyone to love me because I didn't believe that I deserved it. In turned, I attracted cheaters, manipulators, and unavailable men.

Finding happiness from within

Due to failed relationships, friendships and dreams, it ultimately took a toll on my self-concept. It led to thoughts of inadequacy and doubt. Well, it just so happens that I was only feeling this way because of my self-concept. In order to validate my worth, I would conform to external pressure, giving people and things control over my life. It would cause me to allow unwanted behaviors in my life in order to feel happy. At least I thought it was happiness. But any form of happiness that is external is temporary.

External control can reflect in many ways. I had no idea that I was being controlled - whether it was being controlled by social media, by society, or by somewhere that I excessively place my thoughts. It became clear that wherever one excessively places their thoughts is what has their power.

You can also be controlled by someone continuously trying to impose on your life in order to get what they want from you without consideration for your well-being. Control can reflect in ways that are not as transparent, such as allowing things to steal your energy or giving power to someone that doesn't deserve it. This is where you must know your worth!

Recently, I began to take my power back, and I gained control by spending time alone. When you're alone, your thoughts are not influenced by others, your thoughts are clear and cannot be misinterpreted. I am one who can pick up other people's emotions around me, and it can feel like my own. When you're alone, you do what you would rather do and make the choices that come from your heart.

So where does the happiness come in? It comes from being able to find the love that you need to validate yourself from God and within - not from other people's advice, validation, opinions or from the way they treat you.

Let me explain. This morning, I felt upset about a situation, and found myself unable to find peace until I heard from a specific person. In the past, I would be uneasy until I got my answer, which would lead to clinginess and being unable to self-soothe. However, lately, I have been able to find the peace that I need from within. So what did I do? I meditated. I visualized a place that made me happy. Believe me, I searched and searched, and some places brought bad memories. Eventually, I found my peace from picturing myself writing and creating. When God gives you peace about something, it usually is for you. So here I am! However, for the first time in my life, I didn't allow external factors to control how I feel about myself.

Another thing that has helped me find the peace from within is spending time in nature. Grounding has been my go-to. On Healthline, grounding is also called "earthing," which is a therapeutic technique that involves doing activities that “ground” or electrically reconnect you to the earth. The writer states that:

"This practice relies on earthing science and grounding physics to explain how electrical chargesTrusted Source from the earth can have positive effects on your body. This type of grounding therapy isn’t entirely the same as the technique that is used in mental health treatment."

Sometimes, I pray or meditate by the water. Other times, I hug trees or touch the grass to balance my energy. After I leave, I always feel a spiritual lift. This is how I cleanse my aura when I feel that someone is stealing or tainting my energy, which in turn effects my mood.

One of the best practices for finding happiness within is affirming scriptures and affirmations that I want to change my perspective. Here are the following scriptures:

Romans 12:2: Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind

Ephesians 4:22-24: Put off your old self and put on the new self.

2 Corinthians 3:4

Such confidence we have through Christ toward God.

Psalm 139:14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.

Philippians 4:13 "I can do all this through him who gives me strength.

I also recite affirmations to help me change my self-concept according to the situation. For example:

I will choose peace today.

I am loved, adored and highly favored.

My business is successful.

I deserve healthy love.

You get the idea. What we think is a period of abandonment is just God isolating us to progress us to a higher path. This season is called self-exploration and healing. Gravitate toward the things that give you peace and eliminate the toxic relationships in your life. Lastly, see yourself the way God sees you.