Building the Life You Love: First, Stop Waiting on People

One day, I got dressed, put on makeup, picked out an outfit like I was going somewhere, and still only halfway did the things I needed to do.

I looked put together, but my mind wasn’t really in my life.

Why?

Because my life had become other people.

I was walking around available.

Available for the people I wanted to spend time with. Available for the people I wanted to choose me. Available for conversations, connections, plans, attention, and love from everybody else.

But what happens when nobody shows up?

You feel empty.

You feel useless.

You start wondering what your day is even for, because so much of your life has been dedicated to showing up for someone else.

Sis, when God said serve others, He did not mean abandon yourself.

I had to realize something painful: I didn’t really have a life of my own.

Can you imagine?

I had to sit with the question:

What is my life really like when I am not waiting on anyone else?

So I started making small moves.

I made a plan for myself. I cleaned my house from top to bottom and made it feel comfortable for me. Not for company. Not for a man. Not for family. Not for anybody’s approval.

For me.

I started asking myself, What does it feel like to do things for myself?

My life had been dedicated to being a mother, a daughter, a friend, a helper, a supporter, and a safe place for everybody else.

But who was I outside of that?

Every week, I made it my business to change something in my house, my routine, or my mindset in a way that reflected what I wanted.

Looking back, I believe this was my silent season.

A season where God pulled me away from the noise so I could finally find out who Taylor really was.

And yes, sometimes I feel embarrassed that I am having this awakening at 43.

But then I remind myself: better late than never.

Some people never wake up to themselves at all.

So if you are trying to build a life of your own, start here:

1. Don’t wait for anyone else to make you happy. Stop putting your joy on hold until somebody calls, texts, visits, chooses you, or makes plans with you. Your life is still happening, even when other people are absent.

2. Start your day with plans for you. Before you become available to everyone else, ask yourself: What do I need today? What would make me feel proud, peaceful, or cared for?

3. Make a 5-year and 10-year. goal. You need something to look forward to that belongs to you. Not just survival. Not just bills. Not just responsibilities. A vision.

4. Take inventory of your resentments. Sometimes we think we are just tired, irritated, or easily offended. But underneath that is resentment from years of feeling unseen, used, ignored, or unsupported. Be honest about what you’ve been carrying.

5. Manage your health. You cannot build a life you love while neglecting your body, your mind, and your spirit. Start small. Drink more water. Move your body. Rest. Make the appointment. Take yourself seriously.

6. Figure out what you want to look like and become her. Not for attention. Not for validation. Not to prove anything. But because how you present yourself can remind you of who you are becoming.

7. Work on your dreams. Your dreams still matter. The book, the business, the healing, the home, the body, the peace, the love, the version of you that keeps calling you forward — she is still possible.

Building a life you love does not happen overnight.

It starts with one small decision:

I am no longer abandoning myself while waiting for someone else to show up.

Show up for you.

God can rebuild your life with the pieces you finally stop giving away.